Tuesday, March 06, 2007

In the Pisser

I was going to post this last night. But as I was sitting there on the couch innocently tippie typing away, Jen, who was on the couch doing the same, randomly blurted out:

"I sprinted with my butt today"

And its a little hard to type after you snortle wine up your nose, so I am a day late with this.


Sometimes a workout, just doesn't work out.

Yesterday's workout called for 1 minute intervals. I like these. I like them because they look funny on the Garmin graphing thingie.

The day was gorgeous. All sunshine, green grass and butterflies. I dawdled quite a bit on my warm up, even stopping to check out some goats that were running around and playing.

I may have dawdled too much and soon felt the urge to pee. I tried to ignore it, but the road was bumpy. I began to look around for a place to go, but I was in an area of nicely fenced off rural homes and very few trees.

I decided to try my intervals anyway. If nothing else it might take my mind of the urge and it might get me to the porta potty by the reservoir faster.

I set off and pedaled...but it just wasn't working. Neither my legs nor my heart would cooperate. My bladder was asserting its authority. Loudly.

Now my workout goal was reduced to "Get to the porta potty!" And then the legs kicked in. And I pedaled as quick as I could, to the big blue box in the distance. As I got closer, the urge grew stronger.

I zipped into the parking lot and pulled up in front of the porta, only to discover that the door was broken off. Ack! And about five cars (some with people in them) in the little parking lot in full view.

I really really had to go. I peeked into the porta and found that aside from the broken door, everything was in good shape. It was clean and full of TP. I stepped inside and sort of wrangled the door so that it leaned against the opening. This was tough to do, because a lean too much on one side, meant that the car people could see in on the other side and vice versa.

After a little bit of futzing around, I finally got it just right.

And awwwwww.....finally, relief was mine.

Happy that emergency was over with, I sort of hopped up a little too briskly to reach for the t.p. And just as I was standing there, halfway levitating over the bowl and halfway reaching for paper, with my lycra down below my knees, the damn door crashed down onto the ground with a big thud.

Door on ground, I had a lovely toilet side view of the lake and all the cars.

I have no idea if the car people saw me. I just scrambled on getting myself covered up and out of there. As quick as I could.

But not before taking a picture. of course.

And I cancelled my intervals.


At 12:29 PM, March 07, 2007, Blogger trac said...

look at how dark it is in there in the photo! No one saw you.

Jen was sprinting with her butt?? That's too much.

At 12:32 PM, March 07, 2007, Blogger velogirl said...

too funny!

I almost got carried away (literally) in a porta-potty after the dunlap time trial once. I was very sick and sitting in there in the HEAT and my teammates were in the cozy, air-conditioned restaurant across the street. and then the porta-pottie truck came and started to take them away....with me in it!

At 12:33 PM, March 07, 2007, Blogger velogirl said...

ps -- thanks for registering for menlo park!

At 12:52 PM, March 07, 2007, Anonymous Anonymous said...

i heard about broken door in today's ride...

At 2:32 PM, March 07, 2007, Blogger lauren said...

yeah, it's pretty dark in there. that's the great thing about sunny days.

i did a little run like that last week along the bike trail. there was no porta pottie anywhere in site. finally i see it off in the distance and i sprint for like 10 minutes.

and then it's locked and i have to pee so bad that i'm crouched on the ground in front of the damn thing trying not to pee in pants.

i finally ran into the willow bushes and peed crouching way down.

At 2:36 PM, March 07, 2007, Blogger X Bunny said...

i had an urgent issue at merco rr
but the details really aren't fit to print

At 2:51 PM, March 07, 2007, Blogger Erein said...

Hee, hee. That's a funny story. :)

At 3:32 PM, March 07, 2007, Blogger jeninsb said...

i just got blue gatorade up my nose.


At 3:37 PM, March 07, 2007, Blogger Velo Bella said...

flandria - did you ride by the broken pisser? Good thing that didn't happen on the senior ride. THey would have revolted I bet.

At 6:37 PM, March 07, 2007, Blogger Ippoc Amic said...

VB broke something...cool...better a pisser than a bike component

At 6:44 AM, March 08, 2007, Blogger chris said...

Absolutely hilarious!!!! Gives a whole new perspective on "potty emergency!"

At 7:18 AM, March 08, 2007, Blogger marscat said...

now, why couldn't VB do her intervals once she'd broken the pisser?

i see plenty of daylight.

At 12:13 PM, March 08, 2007, Blogger bbElf (a.k.a. panda) said...

I had to make Mr. Man stop on the side of the road on the way home, only five minutes from home. The spot he chose was a little conspicuous for my taste but I was too desperate to argue...sure enough, mid-pee someone comes walking up the road. I had to clamber through the bushes to keep them from seeing my face...

At 1:28 PM, March 09, 2007, Blogger MoJito said...

i have had ENTIRE commuting rides home where ALL i think about is which bush on Crystal Springs is fit to pee behind. Oh do I know the control a small bladder has over a strong heart.

At 1:36 PM, March 09, 2007, Blogger russellp said...

we're on a roll here with the bike-toilet posts


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