Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Wiggly chin writings

I burst out into tears on my drive to work today.

It came slowly at first, and then, once my emotions saw that the door had been cracked open, it turned into a good old fashioned bawl.

I was listening to the radio when it was announced that Tony Snow has stage 4 colon cancer that spread to his liver. I am no fan of the current administration and I really have no connections to Tony Snow, except for this:

Snow announced last week that he would be undergoing surgery to remove the growth in his lower right pelvis. He said initial tests were negative for cancer and that he was having the surgery out of ``an aggressive sense of caution.'' Snow, who lost his mother to colon cancer when he was 17, said he had been getting a checkup every 10 weeks.

My mother is going in for just such surgery tomorrow.

Her colon was removed almost 20 years ago. Her mother died of colon cancer when my mom was still a teen.

My mom, despite (or maybe because of) her silly happy I'm just here for the party personality, is one of the strongest people I know. She's a god damn rock when she needs to be. She is one of those people that amazes the doctors and nurses with her stubborn no time for pity recovery. And I have been nothing but optimistic about tomorrow's surgery.

But that Snow report revealed that somewhere in me, I am scared.

Scared because I adore my mother and she is the only blood relative (that I know) on this continent and the thought of losing her completely freaks me out. And scared because I have a 1 in 2 chance of the same fate. And I have been really really bad about getting my check ups lately.

Colon cancer is one of the leading causes of cancer related deaths. It is also one of the most "curable" if caught early.

I am going to make that stupid appointment today.

And for the rest of the week, I'll be at my mom's. I think she has dial up and (gasp) AOL, so not sure how much onlining we'll be able to do.

But we will make time for some riding and enjoying in between. Because it has to be enjoyed, this gift.


At 10:53 AM, March 27, 2007, Blogger Olaf Vanderhoot said...

thank you for making that appointment, honey.

At 11:05 AM, March 27, 2007, Anonymous Anonymous said...

take care Sabine...you are a very strong person too!


At 11:16 AM, March 27, 2007, Blogger nicknameless said...

my dad was just in for his long overdue colonoscop-ouchy and they found two polyps which they removed and are biopsying (is that a word). They were small and probabbly benign but still absolutely get your booty to that appt asap!

All my warmest wishes and prayers for your mom,she is a rock-star. I wanna be like you two someday when I grow up. ;)

At 11:19 AM, March 27, 2007, Blogger Velo Bella said...

nicky - blood dad? If so, then you need to go too. Miss you!

At 11:20 AM, March 27, 2007, Blogger Velo Bella said...

and my sniffles are over.

Someone just brought me a dozen homemade tamales.

At 11:24 AM, March 27, 2007, Blogger nicknameless said...

yeah....he put it off like forever and ever until we all prodded him.

You bet I be going in every 5 till 60 then every 3 after that

Glad your sniffles are over...enjoy hanging with your mom this week!

Miss you guys tooo!

Oh...I have to send an e-mail out. Booty Call is being discontinued. NOOOOOO but they are selling their remaining stock $25 per case at the tasting room!!! Yippeee

Anyone for a ride a sippy at bonny doon this weekend?!

At 11:46 AM, March 27, 2007, Blogger marscat said...

your mom sounds cool...

and this post got me on the phone to make a couple of overdue mammo appts.

At 12:03 PM, March 27, 2007, Blogger ginmtb said...

I just found out a guy I've worked with for the last 10 years or so was diagnosed with ALS (Lou Gehrig's Disease). Wow, talk about a reality check. It was quite the sight I'm sure - a burly construction superintendent and I hugging and sobbing in the job trailer.

Never take for granted this gift as you mentioned. You never know what's around the next turn. He hopes to beat his disease and will go down swinging trying. Unfortunately for him the prognosis isn't good (most people with ALS die in 2-5 years). But it sounds like it is for your mom. Continue to be strong and let us know when your mom throws the party with "recovery" drinks... :)

At 12:11 PM, March 27, 2007, Blogger Ippoc Amic said...

...VB I'm glad you made your appointment...best to you and your mom this week...

At 12:34 PM, March 27, 2007, Blogger PAB(a.k.a.CID) said...

oh Sabine, you know our thoughts are with you and michael and your mom and Theo...

and thanks for the reminder. tests for me too. same thing. sigh.

At 1:29 PM, March 27, 2007, Blogger lauren said...

let us know how it goes.

i don't know you very well sabine, but i can tell you're a tough cookie.

my thoughts are totally with you and your mom.

At 1:37 PM, March 27, 2007, Blogger X Bunny said...

will be thinking about all of you all week

and i know who to tattle to if pabcid tries to procrastinate too much

At 3:29 PM, March 27, 2007, Blogger bbElf (a.k.a. panda) said...

Big big hug.

At 5:05 PM, March 27, 2007, Blogger Miss Mary said...

huges & kisses to you sabine & your family!

At 7:53 PM, March 27, 2007, Blogger jeninsb said...

I hope all goes well for you and mom. Take care!

At 5:24 AM, March 28, 2007, Blogger Nrjetik1 said...

My thoughts are with you too. I hope it all goes well.

At 6:47 AM, March 28, 2007, Blogger Velo Bella said...

hey! My mom got dsl and a new computer. She said it made it easier for shopping at Zappo's.

thanks everyone

my mom is such a damn rock. her and theo were just laughing and giggling and joking around last night while she is trying to explain all of his pills and chemo treatment to me.

made me feel kind of silly about being all sobby about it yesterday

seems I still have stuff to learn from her

At 9:01 AM, March 28, 2007, Blogger Ippoc Amic said...

cool...just keep the kitties away from DSL modems...thinking of you guys...what is zappos?

At 9:26 AM, March 28, 2007, Blogger Sweet Cheeks said...

Hang in there. My g-pa had colon cancer, too. No one ever told me I was in danger. Thanks for the head's up.

Have a good week away from work. Enjoy your family as much as you can. Good family is a gift.

At 8:35 PM, March 28, 2007, Blogger Velo Bella said...

Hey Dawn

Probably not a bad idea to bring up g-pa to your doctor. They might suggest more screenings for you than the usual.

In my mom's case she has this genetic thing that that leaves me at very high risk for the same. Half her siblings have it, so you would probably know if this was the case with your familia.

Still not a bad idea to be safe...

I need to go buy some bouteille call now before they are all gone.

At 8:35 PM, March 28, 2007, Blogger Velo Bella said...




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