This about sums it up

I did this too today. In my car.

I was rushing back home to get our copy of the insurance paperwork, when Michael called to tell me it was no use and we had to cancel.

I was somewhere on a farmroad in Corralitos and I just let loose and bawled. I hardly ever get emotional like that, but when the floodgates finally open...well all sorts of shit that should have been let loose over the years comes pouring out too.

And then after that I was basically useless. I stood by and watched others take down the course we worked so hard to put up. I stood by and watched others tell disappointed racers that the event was cancelled. Thank goodness I have so many people around me who can function when the shit hits the fan, because I sure didn't have the stomach for it.

I really wanted to crawl into a hole and put my hands over my ears and scrunch my eyes closed and hum.

But the Surf City crew has balls. And they stood in the street and looked people in the eye and told them "sorry".

And so, it is to all of them, that I say "sorry". If there is anyone I do not want to disappoint it is all of them.

I asked Jeff Clark if Surf City had ever been cancelled. He told me it had not. Great, a 30 year run and I have that dubious distinction. Then Jeff corrected himself by saying that they did have to cancel once....after the Loma Prieta earthquake. Oh. Well, that makes me feel better. Just me and one of the worst natural disasters to ever hit this area.

Thank you to Brent and Jen for the therapuetic ride we did this afternoon. Brent's charm, Jen's quiet optimism, Laura's antics, Michael's patient love, and trails as happy as they come, worked their magic. I don't feel like crying anymore. I feel just a little more like this:



Thanks to Don and Wendy for taking the pics of his daughter Abby crying after being told there was no Surf City. They made me giggle. And thanks too for all of the supportive emails. You guys are all great.