Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Dear Specialized Yahoos



Dear Specialized Yahoos,

I am usually far more diplomatic, but see, I've had a tough weekend so this is how it will go today:

You guys are idiots.

Yep.
You are because I say so.

And I know this because I saw it with my own eyes today while I was climbing east up Willow. I knew you guys would be coming, so I made extra sure to stay safely to the right of the road.

A lot of good that did me.

Seems as if a few of you were dropped just so slightly on the climb on the ohter side and you needed to rail the descent to get back on.

Rail the descent. ON a friggen LUNCH RIDE.

You were not in the Giro. You are not Salvodelli. You are some Specialized sales rep something or another on a daily goddamn lunch ride.

And yet, it was so important for you to touch back up to the first 4 or so guys, that you had to come into the oncoming lane to do it. Now, I have cut my share of the corner too. But I was as far to the right as possible on the road, even riding to the right of the fog line, and I still almost got hit by you out of control wannabes. Not once, not twice, but about half a dozen or so stupidly close calls.

Neither your descending skills nor your silly red S tires are that good.

Now, you may not give a hoot if you crash and end up a drooling lemonhead the rest of your life, but I do. So leave me some room on the road. Even if you don't think I am there, just ride assuming that I am.

And you may not care if you piss off the local traffic, but I do. I enjoy riding where cyclists are welcome and would appreciate if you didn't selfishly mess that up for the considerate cyclists who ride here.

Finally, you may want to take a lesson from the first 4 or so guys descending today. They did not cut as far into the oncoming lane, yet they descended faster and smoother than the rest of you silly boys (yes, silly boys). They also called me out to the riders behind them. They are faster and they have more consideration and class. Go figure. And, take notes.

Best of luck on winning the next lunch ride.

24 Comments:

At 3:44 PM, May 23, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

HAHAHAHAHA!!!
Well said!

 
At 4:04 PM, May 23, 2006, Blogger Olaf Vanderhoot said...

velobellavenom

tastes good.

 
At 4:05 PM, May 23, 2006, Blogger Velo Bella said...

hissss

 
At 4:09 PM, May 23, 2006, Blogger X Bunny said...

claws unsheathed

 
At 4:51 PM, May 23, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Too bad you weren't on the ride where they usually chat about the size of your butt. Maybe your big butt was blocking the road and they couldn't avoid it?!

 
At 4:59 PM, May 23, 2006, Blogger ginmtb said...

Get me some photos and I'll Pshop them "appropriately." Bastages.

 
At 5:10 PM, May 23, 2006, Blogger X Bunny said...

after this weekend
this is pretty hard to deal with

i bet they don't have anyone to feed them next time they go up a blazing hot hill and you always will

 
At 5:11 PM, May 23, 2006, Blogger Chico Cyclist said...

Those guys sound like winners of the Bonehead Move Of The Year award. Dorks.

 
At 5:19 PM, May 23, 2006, Blogger Velo Bella said...

Damn, I missed the butt chat ride. I hate when that happens. Because I love nothing more than a good ol chat about people's asses.

oh, and thanks for proving my point more eloquently than I ever could have.

 
At 5:23 PM, May 23, 2006, Blogger Velo Bella said...

yeah, bun, its bad enough worrying about cars when we are out there. We shouldn't have to also worry about cyclists.

But you'd be safe cuz you have a cute little butt.

 
At 5:33 PM, May 23, 2006, Blogger Velo Bella said...

oh yeah, and not a single apology in the bunch.

Not even when I was in the gravel hugging the side of the cliff. They just all came down the hill repeating the mistake of the rider in front of them.

If there were, I would not have written this.

At least not as scathingly.

 
At 5:35 PM, May 23, 2006, Blogger Lothar Glerbny said...

Maybe your big butt was blocking the road and they couldn't avoid it?!

If you can't say something nice...

...I mean really, what's with the personal attack.

Inconsiderate riders hurt all of us trying to get some exercise and have some fun on the road with the big fast heavy pre-occupied 4 wheelers.

And VB, remember my friends mantra...be nice to the retards (especially the sackless ones who post insults anonymously).

 
At 5:50 PM, May 23, 2006, Blogger Velo Bella said...

Ah, thats just what happens when oV points his riff raff over here.

Otherwise, this is a happy butterfly bunny kind of place.

 
At 6:51 PM, May 23, 2006, Blogger X Bunny said...

and silly me just turned on anonymous comments

i may regret that but i don't think oV's riff raff make it to my site so much

 
At 7:09 PM, May 23, 2006, Blogger Olaf Vanderhoot said...

anonymous better not show their butt anywhere i can reach it.

they'll get a spankin'.

...

sigh.

 
At 9:33 PM, May 23, 2006, Blogger PAB said...

a spankin'?

in my family (extended) we use a tire iron... (car kind, not bike kind)

 
At 5:39 AM, May 24, 2006, Blogger the old bag said...

let 'em have it -- this stuff gripes me to no end

there must be a prize for winning the

training
ride....

snigger

 
At 9:10 AM, May 24, 2006, Blogger Erein said...

Dear anonymous, are you in third grade? Stop playing with your parents internet connection and go do your homework.

 
At 10:32 AM, May 24, 2006, Blogger diskzero said...

How sad. I really like my Tarmac. Now I am mad at it.

 
At 1:16 PM, May 24, 2006, Blogger Heidi said...

Loved this post- could I use it sometime? We have the same problem out here... :o)

Actually, what I really love is that those idiots are checking out your blogs. Deep down inside, you know they are fans of yours. Just intimidated and afraid to say hello on the road. They were probably showing off for you.

Heidi

 
At 7:23 AM, May 29, 2006, Blogger Velo Bella said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 8:59 AM, May 30, 2006, Blogger Olaf Vanderhoot said...

double sigh.

 
At 8:33 PM, June 09, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Interesting website with a lot of resources and detailed explanations.
»

 
At 7:51 AM, June 12, 2006, Blogger Velo Bella said...

Okay yahoo

Anonymous comments are off.

If you want to attack what I wrote, by all means, go for it. What I wrote was silly rude and ripe for criticism.

But attacking me, personally, is infantile. And should do nothing but embarass you and the company you claim to represent.

It will take a lot of courage for me to ever show up for that ride again, and its too bad because I had a great time when I did.

But I will always have the courage to speak my mind...

..and to sign my name next to it.

 

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