Stupid Adventures of Me

I couldn't ride at lunch today, and its all Kern County's fault.

The Kern County Stage Race anyway.

By the end of the 2nd stage, on the first day, all of my brain cells were fried. Well, not all. As the ones that tell me I am hungry or thirsy or have to go to the bathroom kept working. But all other cells were zapped out mush.

So, its no surprise that sometime during the 2nd day, when I was about to rest for the afternoon, that I realized that I could not find my wallet.

We tore Sputnik apart to look for it. Hmm..actually Michael tore Sputnik apart while I lay on the hotel bed and meekly asked if he would pretty please.

Then we tore my bags apart.

Then we tore the hotel room apart, which is hard to do when one is still lazily floundering in the bed.

Then I called Macaroni Grill and Target (the previous evening's stops).

Then we went (and yes, I crawled along too this time) back for one last look in Sputnik.

Finally I had to admit that my wallet was gone. Time to call the bank and cancel the cards. Do you know how hard it is to do that with a zapped out mush brain? It took every ounce of concentration to find the numbers and call the people. But I did it and successfully canceled the cards. My replacement cards would arrive at home in about 5 days.

And now I had ten minutes of rest left before it was time to get ready for dinner.

I gruntily rolled out of bed and opened up one of my bags to choose that evening's tshirt. And lo and behold, right there was the wallet. Michael and I both checked the very same bag about 4 times each. But there it was. Complete with now useless bank cards.

We survived the weekend on my cash and Michael's charm. Or maybe it was Michael's cash and my charm. Whichever. We survived.

Return home. Back to the real world.

The real world. The one I survive in with a debit card always neatly tucked in my pocket.

Now I can't get cash, or gas, or wine, or the oil change that I went to get done at lunch and waited in line for a while before remembering that I did not have a card.

And the computer I want is on sale, ending yesterday.

I plunder my emergency box and find a credit card that hasn't been canceled. Yay! And I order me up a fine little cheap PC laptop (Agast! I did not buy a Mac).

And this morning there's an email from Dell telling me that the order was held because my card was declined and I have to call them.

Call them? You mean talk to someone? Whats the use of ordering online if I have to actually interact with a human?

Sigh. Before heading out for my lunch ride I call them and after some time on hold "Lisa"* tells me to call my bank. I call my bank and after some time on hold, they tell me that they put the card on security hold and I need to proove I am who I say I am. So I give them my pin#. But thats not enough. So I tell them the last 4 digits of my ss# (I always have to say all the numbers in my head to remember what the last 4 are) and I tell them my address and I tell them my mother's maiden name.

Whew.

Its not enough.

They also want to know how and when I made my last credit card payment. But I never use the stupid card so I can't remember. Then they want to know my checking account number, but I don't have checks with me at work so I can't give them that. Now they are getting suspicious. Mind you, this is the same credit card that once when it was stolen someone went to 10 gas stations within an hour (buying $50 phone cards) and the card was not stopped.

But I want to buy a laptop and I call and give them my intimate secrets and its no go.

I start raising a fuss. She puts me on hold. For a while. She finally comes back and asks for my previous address. Luckily its been 3 days since the race so I have enough brain cells to remember it. And they release the security hold.

I call back Dell and talk to "Steve"*. Pay for my computer. Hang up the phone.

Lunch is over.

Stupid stage race.

*I have no problem with Indian call centers. But what I don't like is that they have to use fake american names. I realize why, and I think its that reason that annoys me so.