Tuesday, December 19, 2006

While he stetches

The whole world of beauty pageants freaks me out. From the weirdness that was Jon Benet (and I'm not even talking about her horribly unfortunate death) to the pomp and circumstance that surrounds Miss Universe (how can women from all over the world look so much alike?)

The latest beauty pageant scandal thingie involves the newly crowned Miss USA. It seems as if sometime after winning the title, the Kentucky 20 year old did whatever 20 year olds from small towns do when they come to New York. She partied her ass off. I guess word of her party antics got out. And I guess there is something about winning a beauty contest that you can't go off and do stuff like that or something.

So she's busted and in danger of losing her crown. And the owner of the Miss USA franchise, Donald Trump, pardons her and doesnt strip her of the crown as long as she promises to go into rehab.


3 things strike me about this.

First, and I really could care less whether her crown was stripped or not...but when it was discovered that Vanessa Williams had once posed nude for some photos, she was forced to resign the crown.

But this Kentucky gal breaks the rules (and I suppose some laws) after winning the title and she is granted a reprieve of sorts. Just saying.

The other thing that really strikes me is...

Donald Trump owns the Miss USA franchise.

Thats just an odd thing to own. And now Donald Trump is making some 20 year old go into rehab for partying.

And the last thing is that there was a news conference to announce this all today and all of the media covered it. CNN covered it as a breaking story. In these times of war, this was a breaking story.

Odd. The whole seedy superficial smile too much world of it.

Apparently the new Miss USA has been competing in pageants since she was 4. FOUR. Imagine, if all you have ever known is to be judged on your appearance (and don't give me any of that talent and scholarship bullshit). Your entire worth is built around how beautiful others perceive you to be.

Since you were four years old. The age that kids are just learning to ride a bike, you are learning how to walk in a way that your curls bounce just so.

Who can blame the girl for drinking a bit.

Thank god I was one of those kids who learned to ride a bike.

Nothing makes me feel more beautiful than putting my own body to the limits and emerging tired, dirty, and satisfied. Sure, there are esthetic benefits to riding, but I am talking about the beauty of confidence and inner strength. Nurtured by the company of other beautiful strong women. Beauty that cannot be rated and judged and topped with a tiara and taken away.

Of course, I partied my ass off when I was under 21 too.
And I've been known to wear my share of tiaras.
Too bad tan lines don't go over well in the swimsuit competition.

Crap. I need to finish my post where I rate a bunch of sexy hot cyclocross men.


At 7:04 AM, December 20, 2006, Blogger X Bunny said...

thanks for that report

i had heard rumors of some tadoo with miss universe, but hadn't summoned (the interest, the energy, the ?) to find out what happened

now i know what i need to know without having to hear all the crap!

At 7:17 AM, December 20, 2006, Blogger X Bunny said...


you are bringing out all sorts of things no one has seen him do

At 7:59 AM, December 20, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

thank you for that ti(ara)rade.

kinda scary that the Don can pardon evil doers.

At 8:10 AM, December 20, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

shame we didn't get to see the Don say,

"You're FIRED"

At 8:56 AM, December 20, 2006, Blogger Velo Bella said...

Its supposed to read "stretches" but I am too lazy to fix

At 8:56 AM, December 20, 2006, Blogger Velo Bella said...


damn wish I had thought of that

At 9:13 AM, December 20, 2006, Blogger trac said...

someone who is famous for owning and wearing the worst toupee in the world owns a beauty contest???

At 9:18 AM, December 20, 2006, Blogger Velo Bella said...

its a toupee??

At 9:18 AM, December 20, 2006, Blogger Velo Bella said...

is that really how you spell toupee?

the word is almost funnier than the thing it describes.

At 9:40 AM, December 20, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...


At 10:08 AM, December 20, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

hair piece, hair weave, hair wig?

men of cross! men of cross! i can't wait!

are you going to post leg pictures?

At 12:01 PM, December 20, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

too bad for miss california...california is first runner up

At 12:21 PM, December 20, 2006, Blogger Brent Chapman said...

oooh.. wheres the men of cross with toupees and comb overs???

At 1:49 PM, December 20, 2006, Blogger bbElf (a.k.a. panda) said...

My first thought was about Vanessa Williams being forced to resign, too. My second thought was to wonder why the first Black Miss America just happened to have blue eyes.

Apparently Tara-darling also tested positive for cocaine and made out with Miss Teen USA in public. Maybe it was the making out with a minor part that got her in trouble.

At 4:02 PM, December 20, 2006, Blogger Velo Bella said...

Maybe it was the making out that got her pardoned.

At 8:02 PM, December 20, 2006, Blogger Wild Dingo said...

To throne or dethrone? In my opinion, testing positive for an illegal substance should not a pardon make. posing nude in a magazine or making out with same sex, although "shameful" (to some) is hardly a reason to dethrone. if she was using (and drinking underage), she was breaking a law. and that should be the deciding value.


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